How to Explain Your Depression to the People You Love

When you’re experiencing depression, the thought of talking about your condition may feel uncomfortable, stressful, and confusing. But learning how to explain depression to someone can be an important step in your healing journey.

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Depression can heighten feelings of loneliness. Support from others can bring relief and comfort. It's your choice when and if you want to share about your depression. If you feel ready to discuss it, here are some tips on how to explain depression to your partner or loved ones.

How to Describe Depression to Loved Ones 

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People who have never been diagnosed with depression may not understand how overwhelming the symptoms can be. One way to describe your depression to someone is by using an educational approach and explaining how depression affects the brain.

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Depression is a common mood disorder that negatively affects how someone feels, thinks, and behaves. Those unfamiliar with depression may equate it with regular, temporary feelings of sadness. However, people with depression struggle with persistently feeling low, as these feelings do not go away over time and can affect every area of their life. Examples of negative thoughts in depression include: 'I’m a failure,' 'I have nothing good in my life,' and 'I’m worthless.'

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There are also many different types of depression, all involving persistent symptoms that last at least two weeks. Some common symptoms are:

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• Feeling low, hopeless, or helpless
• Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed 
• Appetite and weight changes 
• Sleep problems
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Suicidal ideation 
• Trouble focusing and making decisions
• Frequent headache, stomach, or muscle pains without a clear cause
• Withdrawing from social activities

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As you’re figuring out how to explain depression to someone, it can be helpful to share resources on depression with your loved ones so the burden of teaching isn’t solely on you. 

Describe What Depression Feels Like to You

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Describing your depression to your partner or loved ones can be challenging because it requires expressing your thoughts and feelings, which often include irrational or intrusive thoughts. However, explaining how depression personally affects you can help your loved ones better understand your symptoms.

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If you have high-functioning depression, others may not fully realize its impact on your life. To articulate how depression affects you, consider reflecting on questions such as:

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• How long have I been dealing with depression? 
• How often do I feel depressed? 
• What activities are the hardest for me when I’m feeling down? (e.g., work, social life, sleep, etc.)
• How does my depression affect me physically?
• How does my depression affect my thoughts?
• How does my depression affect my relationships?
• What does it feel like when I’m in a depression slump?

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It may be helpful to write down your answers so you can share or draw from your responses. While finding the right words can be tough, understanding how to describe depression can help you when you are ready to talk to your loved ones.

Let Your Loved Ones Know How to Support You

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When you feel overwhelmed, support from your partner or loved ones can serve as a reminder that you are worthy and loved. However, some people may struggle to know what type of support to offer.

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Before explaining depression to your partner or loved ones, decide what you want from them. Is it compassion and understanding? Or practical support? Set clear boundaries. For example, you could say: “I’m not looking for advice. I just want you to understand what I’m experiencing.”  

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Consider how your loved ones can empower you as you heal. Here are some ideas of how you may want your loved ones to support you:

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• Challenge your negative thought patterns
• Plan or encourage you to do activities outside of your house
• Celebrate your small victories with you
• Listen to you when you need to clear your mind
• Reaffirm their love for you
• Regularly check in on you
• Remind you to be kind to yourself
• Help you with household chores or other responsibilities
• Support you on your therapy journey

Be Prepared for Challenging Conversations

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Set up a time to talk about your mental health when you and your loved one can be fully present. Rehearse the conversation in your head or write it down so you can remember key points. 

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Not everyone will understand what you're going through, or the meaning of feeling low so it’s best to disclose and explain your depression to those who have consistently offered you support and care. 

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Be prepared if others don’t understand your depression right away. You don’t have to defend your depression or share anything you are uncomfortable talking about. Discussions like these often require time and patience.

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Above all, remember that explaining depression to someone can lead to difficult conversations, so be kind to yourself and prioritize your emotional well-being throughout the process.

Need Help Talking About Depression?

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Explaining your depression to your partner or loved ones can be challenging but ultimately rewarding. It's likely that your loved ones want to understand your experience so they can offer the right support, which will significantly impact your healing journey.

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Whether you need support overcoming depression or guidance on explaining it to your partner or loved ones, our diverse range of counsellors are here to help. Match with a Phare counsellor today!

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Author Bio:

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Wendy Chan is a writer and editor who is passionate about health, wellness, and self-care. She has worked in marketing and communications for nearly a decade, creating educational content for brands and companies across Canada. Since 2020, she has been a writer and researcher for Phare Counselling.

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Wendy specializes in authoring informative and accessible content on mental health, wellbeing, higher education, and technology. She holds a BFA in Creative Writing from the University of British Columbia. You can find her in Vancouver or Toronto, depending on the weather.

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