What Do You Talk About in Therapy?

Therapy provides a safe space to get support for your mental health needs. If you are new to therapy, you might be curious about how to talk to a therapist and what to talk about in therapy. If you’ve been going to therapy for a while, you may be wondering what to talk about with your therapist when you have nothing specific to discuss.

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Therapy is your time to talk about whatever's on your mind. If you don’t know what to talk about in therapy, here are a few common topics to explore, along with suggestions to help make your sessions more productive.

How to Talk to a Therapist

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Therapy offers many benefits, but it's completely normal to feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, especially if you're new to therapy or working with a new counsellor. One of the most important things to remember is that there are no right or wrong topics. You can talk about any issues or challenges in your life, big or small. 

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What you need from a therapy session may also change from time to time. Some days, you may need to vent about a recent experience. On other days, you may want to explore a persistent pattern or behaviour in your life.

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Some therapists may take a more structured approach, while others will let you guide the conversation. But the key to a successful therapy journey is building a strong, trusting therapeutic relationship. 

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If you’re struggling to figure out how to talk to a therapist, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

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• Set goals for your therapeutic journey: Discuss your goals and what you hope to achieve in therapy with your therapist. Examples of therapy goals might include developing healthier coping strategies, improving relationships, or managing symptoms of mental health conditions like anxiety or depression. Having clear goals can help your therapist create a tailored treatment plan. Remember, as you progress, you and your therapist may also discover new goals along the way.

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• Be open, honest, and authentic: A good therapist will never judge you; they are there to support you on your journey. Don’t hesitate to express your emotions—therapy is a safe space where you can learn to better understand and process your feelings.

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• Be patient and go at your own pace: Understandably, being vulnerable with a stranger can be difficult. Like any other relationship, building trust with your therapist takes time. Your connection will strengthen as you progress, and you don't need to share anything you're not ready to discuss.

Common Things to Work on in Therapy

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Therapy is a personalized experience, and what you discuss is entirely up to you. Your therapist can help guide the conversation if needed. If you're unsure where to begin, here are some common things to work on in therapy.

Relationships

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Your relationships with family, romantic partners, friends, and colleagues can all play a big role in your mental health. Feeling satisfied with personal relationships is linked to better overall well-being. What are some strong, healthy relationships in your life? What about challenging relationships?  

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Therapy can help you manage conflicts with loved ones, set boundaries, and strengthen existing relationships. Discussing relationships can also help you understand your patterns around attachment styles and communication.

Past Experiences and Trauma

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In therapy, it's common to talk about past experiences, including childhood trauma, generational trauma, or other significant life experiences. Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, can have a profound effect on your mental health and your present patterns and behaviours.

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Addressing trauma can be challenging and painful. A trained therapist can help you unpack and heal from your trauma in a safe environment, at your own pace.

New Life Challenges

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Change is an inevitable part of life, often accompanied by a range of challenges. Major life transitions, even positive ones, can cause stress and may stir up new emotions you'd like to explore.

Have you recently experienced any significant changes? It's common to discuss events like the start or end of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, moving to a new city, or changing jobs with a therapist.

Identity

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Therapy helps you explore feelings and experiences related to your identity, including aspects such as gender, sexuality, ethnicity, culture, or religion.

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Sometimes you need a safe space to talk about discrimination or challenges related to your identity. There are specialized counsellors that support individuals across diverse identities and experiences, including people of colour, people with disabilities, and LGBTQ2+ communities.

Grief

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Grief and loss can affect your brain and body—but feelings of grief can often be ignored. While grief commonly occurs when you lose a loved one, you may also experience grief from experiences like the end of a long-term relationship or receiving a new medical diagnosis. A therapist can guide you through the process of grief and help you navigate it in a healthy and supportive way.

Thoughts on Therapy

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One of the most common topics to discuss in therapy is what led you to seek help and what you want to work on. Everyone has unique therapy goals, and exploring your reasons for attending can help guide your journey. Sharing your thoughts on therapy and any previous experiences will allow your counsellor to create a tailored plan.

Therapy Talking Points

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Therapy is entirely your time—but this may feel overwhelming. If you find yourself thinking, "I don't know what to talk about in therapy," you are not alone. Sometimes it can be helpful to have therapy talking points to get you started. However, don’t be afraid to tell your therapist if you don’t know what to talk about. They can help guide your conversation.

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Whether you are new to therapy or have been in therapy for a while, here are some ideas on what to talk about in therapy. 

Current Feelings and Emotions

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How are you feeling in the present moment? Share your positive or negative emotions.

Your therapy needs may change from session to session. By discussing how you’re currently feeling, your session can be tailored to what you need at the moment. 

Work and Career

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Is your job causing you stress? Are you experiencing issues with a coworker? Work can often be a significant source of stress, and discussing these concerns with your therapist can be helpful. These conversations may also lead to broader discussions about communication, relationships, or your future goals.

Your Day or Week

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No topic is too small to share—even those that might seem boring or mundane. Your daily experiences and routines can help your therapist gain a deeper understanding of you. Discussing things like your weekend plans or a frustrating phone call with your mom might also reveal underlying issues worth exploring.

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It can be helpful to take notes about your emotions and challenges throughout the week so you can remember topics or events to bring up at your next therapy session.

Milestones

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Milestones hold significant meaning in your life, and they are worth sharing with your therapist. Are there milestones that you are excited or worried about? Understanding the significance of milestones can help you set and achieve goals.

Things You’re Avoiding

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Therapy is the place to explore all your thoughts and feelings, including the ones you’re avoiding. Is there something you’re ashamed of thinking? Or something you think is too insignificant to share?

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The more you avoid talking about challenging topics, the worse they can get. Often, the topics you avoid are the ones you need to talk about the most. 

What to Talk About in Therapy When Everything’s Going Well

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At some point in your therapy journey, you may find yourself feeling stronger, healthier, and more capable of handling life's challenges. If things are going well and you’re unsure what to discuss with your therapist, consider this a great time to reflect on your progress and future goals. How do you feel about the positive changes in your life? Are there any new goals you want to pursue?

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Remember to celebrate your progress—it means your hard work in therapy is paying off. Share good news or talk about how you successfully handled a challenging situation. Not only can therapy resolve problems, but it can also help you recognize and build on your strengths.‍

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If you feel that you have developed healthy strategies and tools from your time in therapy, it may be time to re-evaluate your therapy needs. You may want to schedule less frequent sessions, or you may even want to take a pause—knowing that you can always revisit therapy when you need to. 

How to Find the Right Therapist

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Therapy is personalized to each individual. Ultimately, your goals will help you decide what to talk about in therapy. The right therapist will be kind, compassionate, and accepting—while also encouraging and supporting you to achieve your goals. Therapists all have different specialties, professional backgrounds, and counselling methods. Depending on your needs, you may want to look for a therapist with a particular background or specialization.  

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If you are looking for the best therapist for you, Phare Counselling is here to help. We can match you with a therapist for your specific needs and goals. Book a free consultation to find the right match today!

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Author Bio:

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Wendy Chan is a writer and editor who is passionate about health, wellness, and self-care. She has worked in marketing and communications for nearly a decade, creating educational content for brands and companies across Canada. Since 2020, she has been a writer and researcher for Phare Counselling.

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Wendy specializes in authoring informative and accessible content on mental health, wellbeing, higher education, and technology. She holds a BFA in Creative Writing from the University of British Columbia. You can find her in Vancouver or Toronto, depending on the weather.

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